Sunday, December 06, 2009

would you?

i am having a hard time coping with my current situation... this change is causing too much sadness and negative ideas in me. why am i like this? i guess i got used to the time that we were almost always together. i see you more than thrice a week, and yet it isn't still enough. but now, i see you like once or twice a week if it permits us... it's slowly killing me... i just can't tell you this, i don't want to mess things up with you, and make you feel guilty with what is happening to me... i do feel guilty whenever i make you feel like that... it's as if im selfish because i don't understand your situation. am i being selfish? what if the time would come and things would turn around? how would you feel? would you want me the way i am wanting you? would you need me the way i am needing you? would you be selfish enough to be mad at me for not having the time for you? would you?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

the devil wears prada?!?

i just had an encounter with the so-called "the devil wears prada." she is dressed like a businesswoman... someone you wouldn't expect to be so devilish.. okay, im getting exaggerated, but i'm not.. i was onboard a train going to work, what i usually do. i encounter lots of different personalities.. so it's not a surprise if i encounter the same people.. it's a public transportation, and it's really crowded, really crowded... 3rd station from where i embark, i didn't notice this woman.. until i think after a couple of stations, some people alighted the train.. then goes the woman who hurriedly went beside me.. i felt some arrogance in her.. she did what she did before in our first encounter.. would move like she has a worm in her, bigger than a worm i guess.. she's hot because she has her fan with her and when she uses it, it's like she's annoying you on purpose so that you would move aside and she would get a better place... the devil! the second encounter was really bad... she did the same thing but with the confrontation.. she was annoyed at me because i was very still at my standing position just quietly staring at people.. then when the train stopped in one station, she told me that maybe i could move my foot because people couldn't get out of the train...the hell! i'm not even in the way!! i looked at her and could feel the blood rush through my head..i remained calm with a comment on her that she's very restless..i stopped there...then the devil again moved and moved and moved.. when i was about to alight the train, she pushed me aside, intently pushing me...i really tried hard to control my temper..she should thank me because all she got from me was the stare... i comforted myself that i am not like her who grew up without breeding...someone who thinks that she's always right and above others..if only i have the guts to answer her back, i would tell her to get a taxi or buy a car, and that its not my fault that people couldnt get out, we are in a public transportation and it is expected to be crowded because it is cheaper...but then, i am still an educated person.. i may not be wearing prada, i may be younger than her, less experienced.. but i know that my parents didn't pay for my education for nothing, that they raised me well... now i know why i don't want to wear prada, because indeed, the devil wears prada...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

blame it on the rain...

why do people blame others even if it's not their intention to do something wrong? i am also a victim... i am likewise guilty of blaming others. i guess it is human nature to blame others... or put the blame on others.. it is hard to accept our mistakes and shortcomings, but i know it is harder for the one being blamed. i do feel sorry whenever i blame others, and i do pity myself when i am in their shoes. its like you are being punished. you feel guilty and in turn you put yourself down. it is mental torture... i hope people would realize that... and i hope i am one of those people who would realize and not do it again, as much as possible.. i am sorry for all those people i have blamed... oh well... why make other people's lives miserable? why not blame yourself? why not blame inanimate objects? why not stop blaming others and yourself? why not turn it into a positive thing? cant help it?? why not just blame it on the rain?